Thursday, September 25, 2008

Power Restored!

This has got to go down as the longest blog ever. Grant it this is probably a total of about 10 days of a blog journal, but I need someone to look this up on the WWW and get back to me on that. I have been keeping a daily journal of the power outage that I have cleverly termed – Blackout '08. In case you didn't know Hurricane Ike, hit Ohio as a Tropical depression, and Dayton Power & Light, our utility provider, did not do such an upkeep job at getting everyone in the Dayton area their power back in a timely fashion. It lasted for 12 days for my cohorts and I. Some of the language gets a little vulgar near Day 9, the struggle had me at the breaking point then. Enjoy.

We get it, we are out of power. It's not the end of the world, but can I get a little light. I have been playing jokes on my roommates. Since I have the only flashlight, I tend to move things around the house. Occassionally, I dress up in all black and I stalk them in the shadows, by shadows I mean the pitch black house that I live in. I'm a ninja, I move in silence. I'm also recruiting for partner in crime, the last one failed me.

POWER OUTAGE OF '08 - Day 04
Being able to live humane has come increasingly difficult, I had to lower my standards. Although we have gotten to know more people in my neighborhood, things are probably going to get worse as the days linger.

We managed to cook all the food in our freezer in one afternoon of debauchery for about five guys and still waste 3 gallons of milk. Why did we have 3 gallons of milk you asked? Because it does a body good damnit.

The original Got Milk?

I have increasing lost the will to maintenance my hygiene. I wake up so early for work I can't see what I'm doing in the bathroom, so I stay away from holding anything sharp to my face. I don't want to come home in the dark so I stay late somewhere where I can cypher energy and have light! Thanks Jon for the days of putting up with me in your office. But when I do come home, I stumble to the bathroom only to sit in a dusky lit room listening to the sounds of nature while I try to shower and use the facilities, and unsuccessfully reading the newspaper because it's still pitch black. It feels like I'm camping in a giant bungalow with Gilligan.

A flashback to an old McDonald's ad from 1988.

Well, another night of darkness. And I'm not being precocious about it either. I have one flash light, one, for like four dudes. I was sick of going out and spending money on nourishment that I decided to cook some soup on the stove....I think I fell ill from the hot/cold soup that I thought would be good. So now I starve, or go to Jimmy's to charge my phone and have a liquid diet. I feel compelled to turn off lights at places where I go too because it just doesn't seem right to be in a room well lit by an energy source that I am not fond of at the moment. Roommates are breaking down and staying where they can find a power source to have the faint whispers of a television to ease them to bed. I don't blame them, with the sounds of nature and raccoons pillaging around at night, it's difficult as shit to get a decent rest. These are the ways that I have been able to cope with sleep:
1. Get extremely drunk and pass out (Very costly)
2. Take some drowsy medication on top of getting drunk and passing out (Not as costly)
3. I leave my DS on all night so I can listen to the sounds of Electroplankton (Cheap.)

Nintendo DS commercial:

NO ENERGY '08 - Day 07
So there are conflicting stories that DP&L has said that 95% of people will have power back by Sunday, but those remote power outages, i.e. the Speakeasy, may be without power for 3-4 weeks. 3-4 weeks? What do you think this is, why do I have to rely on one company for my energy resources.

Last night I was tired of going to Jimmy's Cornerstone and spending 20 bucks a night, so I decided that I would only spend 5 bucks...a pint of Old Crow Bourbon Whiskey. I sat on my front porch, drank that warm, had my ipod playing the best of T. Monk and Miles Davis. I finally got smart and picked up an assortment of lanterns and maglites. It makes me feel like I have some light source. Picture a flashlight that has the power of 1,000,000 candles.

Because I'm in the mood for some Jazzy music, here is the Nike commercial featuring Marvin Gaye that aired during the China Olympics you might have seen.

On a side note, check out BINGenuity, for my associate's blog on her adventures volunteering at the Olympics.

NO POWER CRISIS '08 – Day 08
Last night's main event involved Greg and I creating a drinking game that involves making ridiculous text messages to random people in our cell phones, we were able to incorporate a deck of cards and it turned out to be quite amusing. I happen to believe Greg was fortunate enough to pick your number, but we managed not to make complete fools of ourselves. DP&L got the number down to 49,000 from 300,000 without power. I can see that number dwindle down to about 1500 and we would still be in that number without any source of energy.

I think I'm getting sick because of not having electricity. I would suspect that there was a study taken about how having a light source keeps your morale up. What keeps my morale up is having the ability to take a hot shower. I could cry because it feels so good, but I don't because I have to be strong for those who do not have power.

We also got carried away with some shadow puppets with the lanterns before the batteries died...

Old Commerical for the Volkswagen Phaeton.

Hilarious quote by Dave Chappelle: "When white people lose power they PANIC. When black people lose power they PLANNED IT."

** expletive deleted **

Day 9 was rough, but last night I was able to cope very well. I ran my ipod all night on some little speakers with a snake light wrapped around the foot of my bed to give an illuminating glow to my room. Although nothing beats a warm fire to build morale as well. Last night sitting on my couch I realized how I totally take for granted the sounds of nature without a TV blaring or the sounds of instruments in the band room. However, that still doesn't stop a few gunshots and sirens constantly astirring in my neighborhood. Here are a few new acronyms for DP&L:

Deceiving Public Life
Dayton Power we Lack
Dayton Pathetic & Lame
Dayton Plunder on Lights
Defective Potential Lights
Dayton Candle and Lantern

Apparently in the "Grunge of the Nati" over 1.2 million were without power, but the utility company down there were able to get to the majority without power. The lack of talent prevails here in the "Dirt of the Gem".

You be the judge:

CAMP OUT '08 – Day 11
Yeah, that's 11, not 1+1. Can you sense my ability to calculate the magnitude. There is hope though Jake. I saw three road crew trucks head down my street this morning on my way to the Springs. They turned down Squirrel so all my eggs are in the basket for tonight. If they fail me, you know what I'm going to do? OH man!, these corporate wigs are going to get..... a letter.

That's right, I'm going to type it professionally in bold helvetica font, using the power of words to convey my emotions and print it on some stock paper. Sign it, stuff it, and seal it. Addressed to the corporate fat cats. It will sound something like this...

Yes, similar to the answers I received from DP&L.

NO SIGN OF POWER '08 – Day 12
The definition of sulk – To be sullenly aloof or withdrawn, as in silent resentment or protest. Under the low grumbles of my undertone I am inevitably going to be without power until next week. Camping has been nice, but a little light can really brighten the day. I think my skin tone is quite pale now. I see why hermits usually have that ill look to them because they live in the dark.

My hopes were dashed when I got home last night to see those trucks still working on the same street. That's over 12 hours on what couldn't be more than 4-6 houses. So tonight we are going to hold a sayance with our Ouija board and get some answers!

All other large utility companies have restored power in the other counties, but welcome to Montgomery County, least amount of people in a large county to lose electricity, but still the most without. I'm just going to have to pour some gasoline on the utility pole and burn that SOB down.

I can literally see us being the last 4 to get power. If this was a reverse lottery, we'd be banking...but then would have to pay DP&L for the rate hikes.

Here's part of my personal advertising sulk.

Although this sign has more of a political statement behind it than mine...Five Oaks knows how to advertise!

In case the statement above is too small. It states, "This Community is Dead Already. We Need Leadership to Rebuild This Community. Too Many Run Down Houses Need to be Torn Down."

Really catches your eye. Only after viewing this picture on my blog, I saw the abandon house behind the sign. Classy.


With a flick of the switch. We have the power! No more sitting in the dark.

Some of the positives that have came out of my trail and tribulations:
1. My mom has definately cooked me some good hot meals along the way
2. Flexibility – I've been able to see how I can cope without electricity, like they didn't have owe some 100 years ago.
3. Was nice to see the neighborhood come together in this time of desperation
4. I can grow a mean beard and on top of that I have been told my beard brings out my eyes.
5. I finally got to go camping this year.
6. Got cable credits since I couldn't use their services

Some negatives:
2. Spent too much on eating out.
3. The sulking.
That is all.

Thanks for following along with me. I'd have looked back at this entry and found that I should be more prepared. I could definately chart my optimism by each day, probably peaking around day 8 or 9. Thankfully I get to watch The Office tonight too!

"That's what she said!"

Here is a video my friend found that made him think of me. Charlie Brown never fails, Thanks Jake.

No comments:

Post a Comment